Celebrating

Yeah, I know the recording kind of rockstars don’t grocery shop, they have someone who does it for them, but the Super Skinny Rebel Rockstars here are super dooper grocery shoppers! They read labels and they make those hard decisions like foregoing the bag of Bertoli frozen pasta entrees, that is so delicious and easy to fix, for the kind you actually make yourself so that you don’t have more sodium or calories than you want to accept. And I don’t have to cook more than I want to eat at one meal either. Some day I may be strong enough not to overeat the things I really love, but I’m not that strong yet, so I try to stick to the things that are easier to control.  I get plenty to eat and I enjoy what I have so I don’t feel cheated, but what’s really important right now is that I have the peace of mind that I have not just sabotaged (with the best of intentions not to!) myself like I use to do.

I bought fresh fruit and veggies that I love and I plan on having mostly those today, but I did buy some nice wild caught salmon and some fresh dill to have a yummy treat for my lunch! I promise to be judicious with the butter! Just a tad in the EVOO for taste!

Rockin On Holly 

I was challenged by this season’s Biggest Loser to finally get off my tail and move, to take back responsibiltiy for my life and my actions, and stop thinking that tomorrow I would do it.

 I’m a woman that started life  out from infancy in the wrong way. My start set me up for years and years of abuse and self loathing because of the scars of that abuse. My lowest point was in my late 20s when I planned and almost accomplished my own death. Graciously God saved me from dying by my own hand through a miraculous intervention. There was no one in that house but me, the doors were locked and notes on them telling whoever came looking for me not to let my children in to find me dead. I meant business, I meant to find the peace I needed so desperately. And that is exactly what I found, just not in the way I thought.

God spoke to me and told me that He loved and He didn’t want me to die, He wanted me to live, really live, by accepting Him and following Him. He said if I did, I would find the peace I was looking for and it would NEVER leave me. Now I know that there are plenty of people out there that would say, I just imagined all that because I didn’t really want to die, but that isn’t true. I REALLY did, but I’m glad that I didn’t. I did what God wanted, and He is still doing what He promised to this very day. I have great peace that flows like a river inside me no matter how difficult things can be.

My life didn’t get better, in fact the situations grew worse, (amazingly just like He told me they would!)  but I had that new found peace and hope that everything would finally come to a happy ending.  It has taken 30 years for my life to finally come to a really good place, but the place is worth the trip! The transformation has been gradual, it has taken a lot of healing to those deep inner wounds, it has taken a lot of learning how a “regular” person acts and reacts, who I am,  how to be me, how to have real expectations, and last but not least,  it has taken coming out of denial about my own weaknesses and failures. I have to accept responsibility for those things and then work toward amending them.

I find that if I dwell on it too much, it becomes overwhelming, so I’ve had to learn balance too. I’ve found that if I just break down those monumental changes I need to make into bite sized task, it’s not so scary or difficult. It’s like that old joke, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is,”One bite at the time!” And that is a wonderful “secret” to know but it’s not the one I set out to write about…..imagine me getting off on a rabbit trail!

The BEST kept secret I’ve found is Buddyslim! I just never imagined when I open up this site, what it would mean to me. In fact, I told my Rockstar Leader Lara, (and if you haven’t joined a team I can highly reccomend that you do and the Rockstars are the best!) that I really didn’t have time to participate. Guess what?  I’m having so much fun and so much success with the help of my Rockstar friends and some other buddies here that now I can’t imagine not participating!

There is just nothing in the world like a bunch of really motivated people who are sharing the journey with you. They are either where I am or have been where I am, and they know what it feels like to be overweight and struggling with the business of change. When I pour out my soul, they understand. When I need to do something hard they cheer me on. And being able to share and give back makes you feel so good. I love this place and I love all of you buddyslimmers. You have made a HUGE impact on my life and my lifestyle!

So here’s to another day of taking one bite at the time!

Rockin On,

Holly

After I wrote my want list (see Rockstar Homework) and posted it, I discovered that there were two other things I really want and they are…. to be able to cross my legs again, and to be able to sit comfortably in half the seat on public transportation. I often take the train in and those seat are roomy and comfortable, but when I have to get on the bus from the train station to the medical center, it’s a whole other story. If I’m sitting in the seat first I feel badly cause the next person doesn’t get their whole seat, and if I’m in the aisle seat I’m hanging over into the aisle. Either way, it’s humiliating and embarrassing, and I really want that change badly!

I haven’t been on the scale since Sunday morning, so I don’t know how it reads but I feel good, and I’m proud of the way I have managed my food, guzzled water, and started taking short walks several times a day.

I’m really proud of myself tonight because I took a quick rest after cleaning up the kitchen from dinner and then went out for a walk. It was short, only ten minutes but it included a fairly steep hill and although my lungs were screaming STOP, I didn’t! I walked the entire ten minutes and as I walked up that hill, I keep repeating in my mind (because I didn’t have enough air to say it out loud or I would have! LOL) I’m a Rockstar and I can do anything I want to!

Rockin On,

Holly 

My list of the things I want:

First, I want to live life fully. Enjoying one day at the time, one moment at the time.

I want to be healthy and fit.

I want to look in the mirror without wincing and without wondering how I came to look this way.

I want to look in that mirror and see a woman I love and respect.

I want to model a healthy lifestyle, and show my children and grandchildre that you can overcome bad past, bad parents, bad habits, and self defeat.

I want to eat to live, not live to eat.

I want to be able to leave the table satisfied not stuffed and happy with that.

I want to be able to hike and participate in physical activities that I love.

I want to be able to go to an amusement park with my grands and not be too heavy to fit on/in rides with them.

I want to believe that I am as pretty on the outside as I am on the inside.

I want to be able to buy regular sized clothes and a pair of panty hose that FIT!

I want to be the one that everyone calls when they need advice about losing weight and getting fit, because they know that I have been the most successful person they know.

I want to be able to give hope back to those that have lost all theirs.

I want my body to be as happy as my heart is!

Most of all, I want my sons and daughters to join me in this delightful journey into wholeness. I want them to know true freedom while they are still young enough to really enjoy it and so that they can teach it to their children.

I’m so thrilled I could just howl. This morning I put on one of my favorite pairs of pants and the waist is ROOMY, even when I sit down!!!! This is fuel for a whole days excitement to walk and swill down the water! Yesterday I really thought that I had blown the calories, because I was hungry and grazing all day, but I made such good choices that at the end of the day I was still in the weight loss range of deficit.  I’m delighted that this site makes it so much easier and so FUN to lose weight.  Just remind me when things get tougher and I know they will at some point, that exciting events are great but what really counts in the long run is a good consistent program of doing the right things, knowing that they will payout even when the scale isn’t budging and causing you to feel frustrated.

Immulation is the highest compliment they say so I’m thinking that means Imitator so it was just a short mental hop to I’m a tator! I just love words and especially puns. But I do want to be an imitator for sure of the right things. I have found so many wonderful people with great habits and attitudes here that I want to imitate, because that will mean I will have success and just be a better person too!

This past weekend I had about a ten hour (roundtrip) ride, and although my group did a lot of laughing and yakking, we also spent some nighttime hours just being quiet.  During that time, I thought back to the days when I was a very successful marketing person. The reason I was successful,  for the most part, was that I had two wonderful mentors, who told me early on a saying that really distills what it takes to be successful and that saying is… “Successful people are successful because they are willing to do what everyone else is not.” I am the master of my decisions, I can decide to do what it takes to be successful or I can just do what everyone else does and stay in this downward spiral to more health complications and a premature death. So just for today, I choose to do what others will not do. I chose to walk and move instead of sit and be lazy. I choose to drink lots of water. I choose to be mindful of what I am eating and how much of it I eat. I choose LIFE!

Thank you dear Lord for given me a willing heart and clear mind. Thank you Buddyslimmers for giving me your success to imitate and your  encouragement along the way!

I’d love to stay and yak, but I need to take a walk and drink some water! See ya later! 

Holly Tator

I’m so celebrating today!!! I got on the scale this morning to do my Super Skinny Rebel Rockstar weigh in and found that I had lost more weight even though I attended a conference Friday night and Saturday with LOTS and LOTS of tempting food and I sat for long hours just listening to speakers.

I knew I had done well with my food even though I couldn’t calorie count and I really tried to drink lots of water but I wasn’t really sure how much I had managed. And I got to do a nice long walk before, after, and in between sessions. When others were down scarfing up those goodies I was hooving it away from them!!!! I would get far away and then work my way back meeting new people! It was a GREAT plan that just had to be heaven inspired! So I am putting my hands in the air and thanking the Good Lord for that inspiration and CELEBRATING!!!

Oh BTW, I do understand that this weight loss is partly just a water weight loss, but I’m still tickled pink over the Rockstar start to my new lifestyle changes and I LOVE all the encouragement and support from you guys! So I’m celebrating my superstar supporters and ROCKSTAR buddies!

I was a little disappointed that I gave in this afternoon to the desire for something salty and had a pack on Ritz peanut butter crackers, but as I sat here thinking on it. I realize that I will have moments of weakness and failure but the only true failure is when we don’t learn from our mistakes and/or giving up. There have been days in the past when I would start out on a new diet or season of trying to leave my poor habits behind, and the first or second or third mistake I made was enough to make me throw my hands in the air and proclaim myself beyond help and then go have a pity party with something yummy good or just warming and satisfying to the me who needed comforting.

 NOT THIS TIME!!!! I said that was exactly what I wanted but if I had planned ahead I could have had something that would have satisfied the need without consuming 200 calories of which one half were from fat. It’s about this time of day when I get that need for salt, so I need to plan for it rather than be the victim of it. It’s not a failure, it’s a learning experience then!

My one goal for today was to at least break the third bottle of water and I did that around 1pm so I am doing much better than I had even hoped for and that is worth celebrating. Water is so very important, but I’m not a big drinker (of anything) so it’s hard and I have to push to get enough water each day, but I am determined to keep working on developing the habit.

I still need to do my 30 minute walk, so I’m going to close out now and go keep that appointment with my goal sheet too! Hope all you guys are having a great day!

Holly 

Yep, today I AM celebrating. I stopped thinking I should do something, and promising myself that I would get started tomorrow…maybe, and just did it! That’s a reason to celebrate right there. And actually, I started last night, by eating all I wanted at dinner and not having a desert afterwards. I did have a banana before I went to bed, but that’s at least healthy, and a new way of acting, so I’m rightfully proud of myself. 

But, this is the really good part, I parked 6/10ths of a mile from work and walked in. I know that isn’t a big deal to walkers, but to non-walker me, it was. It was very chilly and my hands were freezing because I didn’t bring gloves, and my nose was running too… which gave me a perfectly good reason to stop three times, sit on a bus stop bench and dig in my bag for a tissue to blow my nose and catch a little breather! Even with a small uphill climb and three nose blowing stops I still made it in 15 minutes. Yeah, I know that is slow but hey, I’m FAT and OUT OF SHAPE, it was UPHILL, and I am So planning to change all of that except the uphill part, not much I can do about that, I’ll just leave that to the City of Nashville if they care to alter the terrain! LOL I’m only interested in altering my own personal terrain!

Oh another thing to celebrate, I started the day off with some protein, a little broiled chicken breast to get the metabolism started! I HATE breakfast unless I’m on vacation and having a huge breakfast when I want to have it. I’m a slow starter in the morning. I start waking up at 4:30am to be at work by 8 or 9am.  My stomach doesn’t usually bother me until 9:30 or 10, but then it wants something NOW. Fast and easy, so I brought some granola bars that have 4 grams of protein to have if I need them, and I brought some fresh fruit. Blueberries and grapefruit sections for snacks today. Lunch I didn’t plan so I will have to be careful about what I chose and I’ll be giving that some thought. I’m really trying to make some easy changes and add steps, so that I don’t overwhelm myself with rules that can end up backfiring on me.

I wrote the above this morning and now here it is almost bed time and I’m still celebrating! It’s been a good day and I’m pleased with all I have accomplished toward getting started with a sane eating plan and taking steps to get more active.

There is just one more thing I have to do and that is to thank the Good Lord for helping. I know that without Him I am lost and undone and with Him I can do all things, because that is a promise straight from His Word!