Desperate Thoughts Need a HEART check!
My day went well until dinner time. I had Chinese, which is one of my absolute favs and I overate. L I was so danged disappointed with myself. And to make matters worse, when I got home, I got on the scale, which I never do except on weigh in day, because I know that evil monster can make me so unhappy and obsessive by throwing up an undesirable number. It’s nighttime so I know I’m carrying 2-3 extra pounds than I am in the morning, so why would I want to upset myself more, who knows why we do the stupid things we do sometimes! And sure enough I didn’t like the read out and the first thing I wanted to do was medicate with food. I actually went to the kitchen and got our popcorn, and I’m not even hungry! I was thinking, “I need to get dressed and go pick up some soda, cause I feel all bloated and miserable“, when all of a sudden it dawned on me, I was letting one mistake make lots more, if I kept moving in that direction.
I said, “Girl, you are not even hungry, put that popcorn back in the cupboard, get yourself a bottle of water and go do your heart check!”
I’m a leader in a Christian 12 Step Program called Celebrate Recovery and tonight I was the presenter of the program. Would you believe it was on “Relapse”? Yep, it was! LOL just what I needed to hear as I told the big group of people all about it! God has a plan for me and it is for good!
Anyway, I want to share the HEART check with you. The acrostic for the lesson tonight was “RELAPSE” and the E stands for Evaluate. The tool we use to evaluate our physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual health is the HEART check and that is an acrostic for …Are you H-Hurting? Are you E-Exhausted? Are you A-Angry? Are you R-Resentful? And finally Are you T-Tense? Use this at least once a day!
If you find you answer yes to any of the above, you need to use Romans 12:3-17 (TLB) which says, “ Be honest in your estimate of yourselves….Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other….Be patient in trouble….Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honest clear through.”
I was able to put the popcorn away, get out a cold bottle of water and settle here in front of the laptop to spend some time with my friends who understand my struggles and offer me love, acceptance and encouragement. When I’m through here I will go and spend some time with the One True Love of my life, the One who NEVER lets me down or fails me…my Jesus! And I will spend it thanking Him for this site and my friends and buddies here. I will thank Him for yet another lesson in how to overcome the things that use to derail my efforts and for stopping it before the problem grew!
Night, buddies! I hope you have sweet rest tonight and a wonderful, successful weekend!
Holly Living on the Rock!
Awwwwe…yep, you were right…we were on the same page. I will remember the HEART test! I too am thankful that you were there for me tonight! It means so much to have friends that understand!
And for the reminder of:
“the One True Love of my life, the One who NEVER lets me down or fails me…my Jesus!”
Y’know…living on the rock gives new meaning to ROCKSTARS!!!!
Living on the rock…reaching for the stars!
Love you and am soooooo grateful for your heart and that you are willing to share it!
Praying your Lover will meet with you in a special satisfying intimate beautiful way!
Tears rollin down my checks, Chrisie, you are the sweetest lady! I’m asking God to bless you too, with your very own blessing for a special, satisfying, intimate meeting tonight!
Lara! I know you’ve had a hard week! Bless your sweet, beautiful self! I’m praying! Thanks for the comment!
I am so blessed!!!! I was crying too when I read your blog and now again! Wow! Thank you Lord!
We are going to do this ladies…we are going to be so free of this! We are going to do it together!
When I read back over my post, I realized for some it may not be clear why you use the Heart Check. You use it to see that the need to eat you are feeling probably isn’t really hunger at all. It’s probably one or more of those things on the list that cloud our judgement and cause us to be needful of a way to soothe ourselves. When you realize what the real problem/problems are you are better able to deal with it in a healthy and positive way, instead of stuffing yourself!
Oh yeah…I got it…I sent you an email explaining wassup with me tonight…but y’know what…I am feeling much better…must be the love comin’ through this internet “connection!”
Hey Holly,
I am new here. I was reading about your day. I also love chinese food. Do you have a Pei Wei’s there where you live. The chicken lettuce wrap appetizer is 10 points for the entire meal. I love it! Here is a link to an article about Pei Wei’s. I hope pasting the link here works.
Wishing you the best. I have 140 to lose. But I’ll get there one day at a time!
Blessings!
JanV
http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/features/health/theskinny/blog/2007/09/pei_wei_by_the_numbers.html
Holly
That was a very moving blog. We all have our good/bad times on this journey but with each others help and support we’ll get there.
Will be using the HEART check in future and generally try to be a better person.
Love n hugs
Jackie x
Wow, that’s just a wonderful, wonderful story and so familiar to me -the first part. Thanks for sharing your process and the HEART check. That’s really cool. You are doing so well!!!!!! Keep it up! One night of Chinese can’t get you down!!!
I gotta tell you Holly, your blogs are also a favorite reading of mine
Thank you for the sweet booster
And I love the Heart Check!!!!! I’ve written it down and I will use it, probably often LOL!!
My kids were ADHD growing up was rough. When they started to get out of control, we used the STAR check S-stop T-think A-act R-respond!!
Isn’t if funny howlittle things can make all the difference in our choices.
Thanks for sharing this one, I loved it!!!
That is awesome Holly and very insightful. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Just an update, I could not resist getting on the scale this morning even though tomorrow is weigh in, and I knew I was taking an awful chance with the monster scale, but I decided before hand that I would not go into a fit of desperation if it wasn’t good,so I stepped up on the scale and I’m down one pound! If I keep this up I will become known as the one pound wonder! But that’s ok, it’s baby steps not leaps that keep you moving toward your goal is sustainable weight loss! Thank you Lord for all your help and thank you buddies for all your prayers and support!
Janv, no I sure wish we did though! We do have PF Changs in Nashville, where I live most of the week and they have wicked good lettuce wraps too. I don’t do the point system so I don’t know how that works out calorie wise but it’s probably very reasonable!
Jackie, if you got any sweeter you would not be allowed on this site cause you would be a hazard to slimmers! Rockstar Sweet!
thrive, thanks, yeah I see that one night of Chinese won’t do me in but I do hope to have a little more control next time!
Jane, I’ll tell my daughter about STAR, thats good info for those dealing with ADHD! And yes it’s amazing what a little things like that can accomplish, when put to use!
Diamond Lyssa, you are still my favorite almost a Rockstar! You always so up to put in a good word!
In a twelve step program I use, this is my favorite acronym–its so similar to mine which is HALT- hungry angry lonely tired. Thanks for this, I needed to read it.
Christal I like that HALT one too cause it contains lonely, which a problem for many of us, even those who are not single can get lonely when their partner does not support them. Here’s a big hug for you! {{{{Chrital}}}}