Why Lie?
I dreaded getting on the scale this morning. I knew I wasn’t going to like the read out at all. Boy, was I right! The first thought that crossed my mind was that I just didn’t have to put it in the tracker, I could just sit on it until I got rid of what I gained. I certainly didn’t want to see it mess up that graph, but hiding the fact that I have gained weight in cyberspace doesn’t hide it in reality, and then I would just be a liar on top of being disappointed. (I almost said failure but that’s not true, I’m human and not the perfectionist I want to be, so yes, I haven’t got the graph I wanted, but I am not a failure! A failure would give up but Iam not going to do that.)
A major part of recovery is accountability. I haven’t done the things I needed to. Yes, there were reasons for some of the problem,but the truth is they were difficult but not impossible for me to have done something about, but a contributing factor to part of the gain was willfully eating what I knew was not a good choice and not drinking enough water and for that I have no excuse. And in the case of the ice cream sundae I ate, it didn’t even taste good to me. So that needs to be a lesson, once I start to eat healthy the other stuff doesn’t taste good anymore, so why give in to the fat girls demands and eat it. If I do that enough times it will start to taste good and I will be headed down the road of self destruction again. I’m NOT going there again. I will pick up my bruised ego and promise to be kinder to it in the future by staying on my plan.
I’m not a failure and I’m not a liar, I am simply disappointed and I can live with that!
I think a fair few of us have been in the situation of not wanting to post a gain and well done with going through with it. Having it sat there can be motivating and if you don’t put it in it can become a habit.
Hope you have a better week this week
Hey there Ms. Rockstar, you are SO not a failure. One only fails when one stops trying. Instead, I would call you a huge success. You are WORKING this buddy slim thing, using it for all it’s worth, and THAT will give you the success you’re seeking. It works, you and I know it works. The fact that you’re so open and honest, even when it’s hard to be so, is proof. I always say BS is free therapy. In my opinion, you’re going to make it…and I know you know that you will. That, my friend, is why YOU are such a rockstar!!!
Holly! you are so right on the money, honesty is everything! I choose to look at my sometimes frivolous decisions in life as a learning opportunity. In fact I look at all my shortcomings that way. They are a wonderful reminder to me to welcome change in my life so I may better myself. You are a successful Rockstar Sista!
You are not a failure. You, like many of us on here, have had a set back. So now you just jump back on board and move forward, which you have already done. Good for you for not keeping it a secret and being honest with yourself and all of us!!
Girl, you and I are in the same boat. Paddle baby, paddle….and the good Lord will add a little movement as well. Let’s start out this week as HOLLY GUZZLER and LARA WALKER!
I posted a gain last week. Im here to be honest with myself too. Sometimes we have to talk ourselves thru it tho, right? Its been many years of denial so it is a learning process to face it. I appreciate your being real and honest!
Your honesty makes you a stronger person, Holly-Roc.
You want so bad to be a success, and not a dopwn, I know. i was worried today aout a gain and ended up a maintain. A few weeks ago I lost like 12 pounds and gfained back 6 and wanted to hide from my ticker. If you can’t be honest here might as well throw in the towl because here all you will get is support, love, and a kick in the pants. I also made some bad eating choices. It happens. Brush the dirt of your shoulder and lets move on together.
Thanks guys, I feel the love! Its so great to know that you are not the only one in your court!
Lara, I’m with you baby, I’m paddling for all I’m worth! LOL
Hey Holly Rock thanks for sharing this. You are so right none of us on this site are failures because none of us have given up. Whether we gain loss or maintain we are still a much healthier person now than the person we were when we first came to buddyslim. Even though the scales dont show it sometimes, I know I am eating better and getting way more exercise than I was. And that’s what it is all about. Not the number on the scale, but how we feel about the new healthier person we are becoming. Hang in there! -Dee
I’m so glad you decided on disclosure. The one thing that we all need to overcome is the shame factor. We all feel so much shame when we mess up or gain. We have to get over this. This is a battle. There will be losses. There will be gains. It’s an ongoing struggle with our lives literally on the line.
Be painfully honest here. Deception can only flourish in the dark. Deceiving others is one thing but we have spent years and years trying to deceive ourselves and the buck stops here.
Air out that dirty laundry and let yourself be heard.
Personally I have spent decades keeping to myself and using food as a pacifier. The more I clammed up the more I ate. I swallowed all my sorrow and anger and sadness and put on a happy face.
I snuck food. Lied about it. Lied about my weight loss. I finally realized the only person I am doing this to is myself. I’m hurting me. Why?
I’m important and I deserve better than this. So I made that decision. Doesn’t mean I won’t screw up but I have a goal and I’m determined. One of those determinations is not beat myself up over gains or mess ups. I’m going to keep on keepin’ on.
(((hug)))
Maybe I am looking at it wrong, but I refuse to put a gain on my scale…is that bad?
I just know it is going back down…so I just wait until it does and then put that on there.
I want to focus on my accomplishments…and not my setbacks. I have to weigh everyday…so I see it go all over the place…and I have learned…as long as I am doing the work…the change comes!
I agree with what everyone says…about shame and being honest. But I just am tired of focusing on the negative…I just want to see the good!
I measure my success differently than just the scale…did I walk, am I eating within my cals, did I push myself when I walked, am I eating healthy…and loving myself. I just don’t like the feeling of the scale being my judge and jury…y’know?
I still have to track my weight everyday…so I do it in a program…and it makes a graph..and when I look at where I started and where I am now…those ups and downs just fade in the background!
Ultimately…I am headed in the right direction…and I am going to get there…as long as I keep moving towards my goal!
I say do what works for you. I don’t weigh daily, I only weigh once a week for the Rockstar weigh-in, so I think that is altogether different.
Your weight can fluctuate from day to day, so if you are doing what you need to be doing and it’s up then there is no reason to be upset.
I WAS NOT doing what I needed to be doing, so to just sit on that would have been being dishonest to myself and God, as well as to my friends who are doing what they need to be doing, and for that I would be rightfully ashamed.
I personally need accountability. God expects accountability from me, if He didn’t I wouldn’t be accountable, I would do what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. And I would stuff myself literally to death. I don’t view this as negative, in fact it is a very positive thing for me. I am not hiding from the truth, I am not growing despondent because I can’t face my own shortcomings. I’m admitting my mistakes and accepting responsibility for them.
There is a lot of difference in this healthy way of confessing and dealing with not doing what I needed to, and unhealthy shame over not having done what I needed to. I am not ashamed, I am regretful and disappointed in my actions, if I had kept it a secret I would also be rightfully shameful of that deceit on top of everything else, when other people here are putting their TRUE weight in, temporary or not. I knew I would take it back off if I admitted it, but I was very aware that not publicly admitting it would could be the very loop whole I needed to slink away and give up. I just can’t do that anymore. This is what works for me.
Being ashamed is like feeding a monster in a closet… it’s grows in the dark and takes over your life. Saying what happened and having a plan to change it works like magic. The monster shrinks… it becomes a small bump on the road…
I discovered a long time ago that the most critical and ruthless person that hurt me more than anyone else in the world actually lives in my mind. It’s me.
People are way more forgiving.
It’s amazing how kind and supportive people are to us.
I’m not the only one with a mean, critical and devious person living in their head? Really? LOL
I have to agree with you moonbeam, I have been my own worst enemy! But I am learning to take responsibility for my actions and that is shrinking that stinker into non-existence.
The people here are the most wonderful, supportive people I have ever met! I say it over and over again, I feel so blessed to have found it.
You’re an inspiration to me, Holly. When I was in WW before, I logged in loss after loss for several months. Then all of a sudden I went up a couple of pounds. Instead of looking back at the week (it may have been water weight or gain due to muscle building), I decided to wait to weigh in till I’d lost that amount again because I didn’t want to ruin my perfect record. Well, it didn’t come off the next week, and I didn’t go to WW again…soon I got discouraged and went slightly off my diet. Then another pound up, then another…instead of facing the gain, going to WW for the support and to face the scale…and before you know it, I’d regained everything. Moonbeam is right on…it does become a monster in the closet. So far on Buddy Slim, I’d have repeated losses, some tiny, but losses nonetheless. I’m going to remember how your dealt with it if I step on the scale one week and I’ve gone up a little…you really are a shining star.
Holly Rockstar, so you’ve had a minor setback - welcome to the club! You’re still less than when you started (unlike me) so if you take the fabulous advice you’re always giving me and our fellow Rockstars/other group members you’ll be back on track before you know it!
Keep the faith!
(((Hugs)))